XC and I applied for our marriage license today. It's not a glamorous process. We woke up early to get to the county clerk's office by 8:30am. We were given a number, told to fill out a form on the computer, paid $79, and left with a form for the pastor to sign on the day of and a packet about how to live a fulfilling and "healthy" married life.

We left by 9:15am, grabbed some coffee, and went on with life as usual.

There was one life changing question though, that I had been contemplating since getting engaged. Had you asked me the day before I got engaged - hell, the day after I got engaged - I would've said there was no way I would even consider changing my last name. I am a Tsai and proud of it. My last name summarizes the family I come from, the values, heritage, history, culture that makes up my person, and is just plain a large part of who I am. Giving up my last name was something I was not willing to do. It was like giving up a part of myself, which I didn't believe I needed to do, or should do, in order to get married.

But today, when faced with the question of whether or not I am planning on changing my name, I made a different decision. Tradition and the symbolic meaning of changing my last name trumps my own personal attempts at being a "progressive" woman. To me, getting married means that my immediate family is no longer my parents and my siblings, but my (future) husband. It means he now takes on the responsibility of, well, me. Instead of calling my father when my car stalls or when it's time to do taxes, or how to make the decision on my retirement fund, I will ask and refer to my husband. (Not to say I can't make a decision without him, I just mean when I decide to include him in decisions hehe).

Also, I view it as a tribute and one of the biggest sacrifices I am doing for my (future) husband. It's a symbol that I am devoting myself to him, name and all. It means that I love and honor him enough to shed a little bit of myself for him. So feminism aside, it is my way of saying, Babe, I love you so much. I love you more than my last name.

I know this means that I will be mistaken for Vietnamese all the time and people will expect that I speak Vietnamese. People will assume I don't understand Chinese. I know this means my family will start calling me by my new last name and there will be distance between my Tsai and my Truong families. This means I need to file for a mew passport, drivers license, change my bank accounts, notify my professional licensing boards and create a new email address.

I know it may sound silly. It's just a name and a last name at that! But when you get down to the nitty gritty of it, it is a very important decision and one most married women I've talked to had thought about a lot.

I'm ready for life as a Truong.

As long as he is ready to be responsible for me.

A few pictures from XC and my newest little tech baby - Canon T2i dslr camera.


Crawdaddy in SJ



Sweet potato fries


Chicken, sausage, and shrimp gumbo


Crawfish!

The end. More pictures to come hopefully, as we continue to take Hank out and learn the ropes!

There are moments when XC and I find our relationship grow stronger. This weekend was one of them. After a trip to doctor's and a spontaneous mini procedure done on me on Friday, I found myself at the emergency room Saturday after experiencing a complication that wouldn't go away. My parents and XC came with me and after I was given new care directions and sent home, we stopped by a restaurant for a mid afternoon meal.

As we ate, we started talking wedding stuff, as usual. The looming wedding and all the planning it requires is usually the center of conversation nowadays. Somehow, we started talking about changing my last name.

"Mom, did you change your last name?" I asked.

"Well, yes" she explained that in Taiwan, you took on your husband's last name and yours becomes your middle name.

"I already have a middle name though. It would be weird to just add XC's last name to my name. I would have 4 names then." I said and recited my potential long name out loud.

"Well" my dad said, "We only put your middle name in there so you don't forget your Chinese name." My middle name is just my Chinese name, which sounds pretty much like my first name anyway.

XC laughed, "I should start calling you by your Chinese name from now on." He went on to repeat it a few times.

"Hah!" I replied, "Well, I should call YOU by YOUR Vietnamese name! Um.. what's your Vietnamese name again?"

"It's just my first name."

"Oh... fine.. I should call you by your middle name!! Er... what's your middle name again?"

"Kin" he said.

"Kin?"

"KiEn" he said, pronouncing it with a Vietnamese accent.

"KiEN?"

"No more like KinG" he said.

"Wait, your middle name is King?!" I said, "Uhh.. nevermind about calling you by your middle name! I'm not calling you King!